I do not know what happened to me today. I was just struck by a feeling of loneliness and depression which could not get out of my system, even with basketball. This cursor has probably been blinking for 5 minutes before this sentence finally makes its way. And it takes another 5 minutes before this sentence is done. I can't really explain the circumstances on why I'm suddenly melancholic, but I think I have an inkling on what caused it.

I've been in a relationship for roughly 14 months officially, and a lot more months unofficially. Lately I've just been insecure about it.

Am I really worth it? Do I really matter? Are you really secure with me?

Some days I know the answers to all these questions, other days I just sit tight and keep quiet to myself, wondering what is up with me.

Today was one of those quiet days.

I just don't want to lose you. And I'm so scared. But I have to be strong.

How the f*ck did I make this such a complicated situation.

Now I am faced with Japanese and History for tonight. I hope I can concentrate.

Don't worry, I'm okay. I always am. I just need a constant hug to remind me that someone does care still.